Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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