Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
