And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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