I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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