Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
