Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
