At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
