Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
