office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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