Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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