There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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