dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
