i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it was like eating out sand paper
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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