Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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