Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
