It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
