I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
