You're a womanizer and a bitch.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
