i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
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