I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Randomize
