This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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