be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
