Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
