you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
