If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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