You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
