i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I got inside last night via doggy door
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
