look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
