I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
