I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
