The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
