he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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