Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
