When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
