Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
