You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
