She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
