am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
