I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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