I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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