Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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