She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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