Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
