how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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