She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
