YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The Olympian is in my bed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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