Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
