I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
