haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
