Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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