she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
