just come out here and I will go home with you...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
