Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
