Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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