I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
