Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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