I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
