I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
