Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
