what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
