And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
