You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
